Having an Elopement vs. a Wedding – The Ultimate Planning Decision 

Once you’re engaged, I hope you’re prepared to make hella decisions. 

Some are easy, some… not so much. There are some things you may know in your gut – you’re wearing a black dress (hell yeah), having your fur baby there is a must, and without a doubt, Aunt Becky HAS to be there. But what about deciding between having an elopement vs. a wedding? If that’s a decision you and your partner aren’t 100% sure on, let me break it down for you and offer my advice. 

Elopement vs. Wedding – Definitions 

Let’s start with elopement and wedding 101. Those may be the only two options you’ve ever heard when people talk about getting married, but I’m here to tell you there are definitely more choices out there! 

Elopement

Back in the day, eloping meant you and bae went off to get married in secret. That’s not really how it works anymore, even though lots of Baby Boomers and Gen Xers probably still think that’s the case. These days, an elopement really just means that a couple is planning a super small, super intimate wedding day that is all about them. Some couples choose to elope entirely on their own, with just a photographer present, while others may decide to invite a few of their “must have” friends and family. If you ask me, an elopement is any wedding day with less than 15 people, but that’s just my opinion. 

Wedding

A wedding is your more “traditional,” day-long celebration, complete with a ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception. They can be a bitch to plan because of all the moving pieces, and more expensive than an elopement, but a wedding allows the couple to have a much larger guest list and throw however big a party they want. 
 

Intimate wedding

Ever heard of this one? Some people also call them micro weddings. These are the perfect in-between option if you’re torn between having an elopement vs. a wedding. The guest count for intimate weddings usually falls between 30-70 people, giving you the intimate vibes of an elopement while still allowing you to incorporate some “traditional” wedding day moments. 
 

Hybrid elopement

A hybrid elopement is also a great in-between option you may not have heard about. Maybe I made up the name, but I LOVE these and so do my couples! A hybrid elopement is a two-part, or even a two-day, celebration that gives you the best of both worlds when you compare an elopement vs. a wedding. You can structure it however you want, but it’s usually just you and bae for one part of the celebration, maybe sharing private vows and relaxing with a picnic. Then, part two includes your closest family and friends, whether you want to celebrate with an intimate catered dinner or host a ceremony for them to take part in. 

Elopement vs. Wedding – Biggest Differences 

Okay buddies, now we’ve graduated to elopement and wedding 201! Let’s talk about the biggest differences between an elopement vs. a wedding.  

Number of guests

The most obvious difference is the number of guests who attend. Elopements range between just you and bae to 15 guests, intimate weddings 30-70, and traditional weddings 80+. Getting married is all about YOU, so think about how being around a certain amount of people will make you feel. Does celebrating with 100 people make you feel anxious? Does only having 20 people there not feel like the party vibes you want? It’s an important factor to consider when you’re making your decision.
 

Costs

The wedding industry has literally lost its damn mind the past several years. The average cost of a wedding is now $35,000, which for a lot of people just isn’t realistic. And even if it is, maybe it just feels irresponsible to drop that kind of money on one day. If that’s how you feel, an elopement or intimate wedding is probably your best choice. Because you have fewer people and can choose more intimate venues, you can save a ton of money. Most elopements cost between $5,000 – $15,000, with the biggest costs being any travel, lodging, and photography. The biggest expenses for weddings are almost always the venue, catering, and alcohol. 
 

Venue

The places you can elope are basically endless. For me, a lot of my couples travel to Colorado because they want to elope outdoors, whether up in the mountains or surrounded by wildflowers. You can also elope in a backyard, on a beach, in Vegas – go crazy! Wedding venues on the other hand are usually much larger since they need to accommodate bigger guest lists. They can also require you use their specific list of vendors or have set food and beverage minimums, giving you less flexibility than an elopement venue. Some couples may love having certain requirements though, because it means one less decision they have to make. I totally get it!

Still not sure?  

In my experience as a wedding and elopement photographer, I’ve picked up on some differences between my couples who want a big wedding and those who want a more intimate celebration. What description sounds most like you?  

Wedding people

Wedding people are my party people! They value providing a great experience for their loved ones and look forward to having special moments with the people that mean the most. These couples also typically have strong relationships with their family that they want to honor in a big way. I’ve also worked with some couples who love being the center of attention and want the focus on them for their big day. No shade to these couples! I’m all about that bad-bitch energy. 
 

Elopement people

Completely opposite from the people who crave being the center of attention, elopement people usually feel awkward or uncomfy with all eyes on them. They value intimate settings and seclusion, want more control over costs, and crave the freedom of designing a wedding day wherever they want. These couples usually feel anxious thinking about all the moving parts of a traditional wedding day. When it comes to family and loved ones, they may not have great relationships, which would make certain “traditional” moments of a wedding day feel insincere. Elopement people also really value the “vacation experience” of eloping in a destination and then turning it into a long honeymoon after saying “I do.” 

Still have questions? My blog is PACKED with resources.