“Yes, there are plenty of things we can find to be grateful for but we’re also allowed to be upset things didn’t go as planned.”

Let’s face it – unless you’re going through it, you won’t understand. Postponing or canceling a wedding is not similar to the vacation you had to postpone. Planning a wedding is an intensive experience full of emotions, hope, and hard work. Weddings don’t only affect the couple, but also affect friends and family. I reached out to a group specifically for couples to find vendors and asked “What is the best way people can support you if your wedding was affected by Covid?” and couples did not hold back. So, how do you support the couple who had to cancel or postpone?

Avoid Saying:

  • “It’s about the marriage, not the wedding.”
  • “At least you still get to get married.”
  • “Everything happens for a reason.”
  • “We’ll all laugh about this someday.”
  • “Have a virtual wedding.”
  • “Why am I not invited anymore?”
  • “Stay positive!!”
  • “Oh it’s okay, we can make other plans that weekend now.”
  • “Have a Corona Themed wedding!” < I literally LOL-ed at this one. Like.. People are actually telling couples to change their entire theme to focus on the on thing that’s ruining their plans? OK.
  • “At least you can still go to the courthouse.”

#1 Frustration: No Acknowledgement of Their Wedding or Original Date at All.

“I got 5 cards out of 67 families invited. I am most annoyed no one acknowledged my actual wedding except for a Facebook thumbs up.”

“My in laws didn’t even call or text on our actual date. We were struggling to get through the day and their acknowledgement would have meant the world.”

“Our wedding turned into an intimate wedding and we eliminated our wedding parties. None of them even acknowledged the original date of our big wedding. We feel alienated by our own friends.”

So how do you support the couple whose wedding is affected by COVID-19?

  • Text, call, or send cards on original date. It could be as simple as “This sucks and I’m sorry.”
  • Ask “How can I help?” – anything from storing some wedding decor to maybe even making rescheduling calls will go so far. “The hardest part about the postponement of my wedding was making calls to vendors and repeating that I was postponing the wedding. My heart broke a little every time I had to say it out loud.”
  • Do not criticize the couple for decisions being made – support them 100%… and keep your opinions to yourself.
  • If the couple is venting to you or expressing their emotions during this process ALWAYS ask, “Do you need someone to listen or would you like advice?” – this is helpful in all situations when helping friends, not only wedding postponements. Unsolicited advice is never welcome.
  • Send gifts from the registry to their house or even a gift card to pay for a date night. During this time the couple is just stressed out and super bummed – small reminders that they’re loved goes a long way.
  • Assure the couple, “I will be there no matter what.”

And when in doubt, send booze.

Excited to be a guest at their rescheduled wedding? Check out how you can be the best guest ever.

How to be the Best Guest Ever