So you have to tell people they’re not invited to your wedding… awkward.

This takes me back to inviting friends to a sleep over birthday party and my mom told me I could only invite 10 girls. I had to awkwardly tell some of my friends who wanted to come that they weren’t invited. It was seriously so hard for my little 8 year old heart but this isn’t about my 8th birthday – it’s about your wedding.

This is a situation a lot of couples are facing with the effects of Covid moving their wedding or forcing them to downsize their guest list. Whether you’re still planning a large traditional wedding or decided an intimate wedding is better for you and bae, that guest list needs to be addressed. How do you tell someone they’re not invited to your wedding? How do you tell someone that they were invited, but now they’re not? You don’t want to hurt their feelings, I get it. Before we get started, remember you don’t owe an explanation to people who weren’t on that guest list to begin with. Don’t put yourself through that pressure. Although, if you have those people who just assumed they were invited, you may need to address it. Here are some ways to tell someone they’re not invited to your wedding.

1. “We have decided to downsize to a smaller wedding for health reasons.”

Amongst Covid, this is a reason no one can argue with. Events are being limited to a certain number of guests, and you may not feel comfortable having 250 people at your wedding. That’s OKAY! At the end of the day, it’s your wedding and your health.

2. “Our budget won’t allow for more than X guests.”

Yooooo, your guest aren’t paying for shit. You are. This reason is fool proof unless that person offers to pay for their expense as a guest, then you’re on your own.

3. “We are having a destination wedding with a small group.”

A lot of couples are changing their wedding plans to a small destination wedding elsewhere to combine their love of travel with their wedding. It’s common that only a handful of people (if any) are invited to an event like this. This is super common.

When it comes down to it, some people just need an explanation why they’re not invited. Be open, honest, and try not to address this subject over text or email where tone could be taken out of context and feelings could be hurt. These responses will not take away the awkwardness of addressing the issue or the pressure that comes with confrontation. Uninviting guests doesn’t make you an asshole. You got this.

If they’re truly your friend, they’ll understand.

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